I hate Memorial Day

I really shouldn’t say I hate it, but I do. It feels like a non-holiday to me for some reason. I’m not meaning to be disrespectful of the military, but particularly over the past 15 years or so the military has been horribly used by our government. To me, Memorial Day feels like a massive insult to our military, asking them to continue to sacrifice for a war that creates more opposition than it defeats. In any case, I can’t support a holiday that does not support the military when it claims to do so. It’s nothing but bullshit.

VJ just called to ask me to sign the divorce papers. I told her that today is not a good day to talk to me about divorce. Since last night I have been thinking about how pissed I am at her. She didn’t allow for any kind of separation, she just went straight for the divorce. I have no choice, no say in the matter. All I can do is suck it up and go along when I don’t really want to. How can she just throw away 20+ years of marriage? I don’t have the sense that she fought for it.

Fuck it. I don’t really want to spend my day thinking about this. Divorce is a drag, to put it mildly. To put it less mildly, I feel eviscerated, and yet, I still don’t want this divorce. What a miserable thing it is.

What I would rather make myself do is write about writing. This freewriting stuff is certainly improving the flow of my writing, but at some point I need to write more substantively. How about this. At some point I can freewrite most of the week but revise my posts once or twice a week. In fact, I can maintain this freewriting blog, but then use the pulamusic blog for more finished writing. This should be in addition to the Sun Ra listening log. It would be best, I think, to make sure there is some variance in the stuff I write. Sameness is not really my style anyway.

370 words. Moving along.

I need to go back to the writing books to figure out some new writing strategies. So far I have been mostly freewriting with no strategy as to how to do it. I did spend some time doing looping (freewriting for a while, and then freewriting some more, expanding upon an idea from the first freewriting session). I don’t think I really explored that like I should have. In fact, why don’t I do it with my posts for today. I’ll finish up this post just now and then revisit an idea from the post later. That will help me to develop some thematic material from post to post. Ultimately, this is one of the strategies that will help me to write more extensively.

500 words.